There's no place like hom.. Sipoo.

I live in the southern part of Finland. It's the most densely populated region in the country because of Helsinki , the capital. But , just because it's got a lot of folk living in it , doesn't mean that there wouldn't be large spots of backwoods and desolate wastelands left.

I've lived in this small agricultural municipality of Sipoo as long as I can remember. I know that the whole place has kept me in it's tight grip ever since... You know , "ever since". It's the country. The mailman knows your name and greets you every morning and nobody bothers to lock their doors because everybody knows that the criminals never hit your house since it's in the middle of nowhere. Your cousins live pretty close to you and everybody moves into your area in search for the "nice and simple life". You can see a tractor from your bedroom window. In the potato field close to you , there's an annual harvest of potatoes proceeding. People like to stalk elk and moose in the vast forests with their bolt-action hunting rifles (not that I would have anything against it , though) and get wasted with cheap liquer afterwards.

My mom keeps telling me that I wasn't born here and that's there are other places in the world besides vast open fields and dark woods. Yeah , she should know because this place is like a purgatory where all the bad people end up to be processed on their way to either eternal damnation or the ticket to the train bound for escape. It's like existing between heaven and hell.

Some parts of Sipoo has your normal sub-urban living standards and big concrete blocks of flats like in the big cities. But where I live it's just woods and a few highways leading to the neighbouring county of Porvoo. Now let me tell you , anyone's who's sensible enough will escape to Porvoo or as far as your feet can carry you. And , still going as far as you can possibly run will probably get you to a more pleasant location than Porvoo. No offence.

The municipality does not have a police-force. It used to have a small contigent of officers back when I was a little kid living in Nikkilä several years ago (the largest concentration of population in the area is located there) , but these days it don't have anything. In case of an emergency requiring the law enforcement to show up , they'll bring the police right from Kerava , Porvoo or as far as Helsinki. So , in this place , crime does really pay since by the time the police have shown up to your location the criminal has had plenty of time to detonate several bombs , rob seven banks , take hostages and send a post card to Antarctica. You know , maybe Osama Bin Laden should come over here and just hide in the woods. I'll guarantee that if it would be up to the local police to catch him or even try to pinpoint his location , it would take centuries.

I've wanted to get out of this place as long as I can remember. It didn't suit me then and it certainly doesn't suit me now. Although , I would like to say that I have adapted to this over the years. In other words , I've grown up in the country. Now , I've got nothing against it either. But , by now , I'm pretty damn interested on relocating to another piece of "country" right here in this land. So yes , I'm very much fed-up with this place. They call this place the slum-area before Helsinki. Some wise people have even claimed that this place is the "Turku of Finland". But , none of that is true. This place is just the backwoods.

A few months ago I read a pretty "shitty" (no pun intended) article about the plans that the people of Helsinki have for this place. Well , turns out , that the inhabitants of the "best city in this country" need a place where to dump their waste and garbage. So , they've selected Sipoo as the municipality where to build a landfill site. For now , the hardcore Sipoo-patriots have managed to foil the plan. But , as it seems , they won't be able to do it forever. So , Helsinki is like the big brother of doom hanging on top of this place. But , I'm not worried. Because , actually , I think it would be a pretty fitting end to this place. To you know , drown in Shit.

Nikkilä (pronounced "Nikki-laeh" for you kind foreigners out there) , the small village that acts as the centre of all evil in this place is a pretty fucking weird place too. I lived there for.. over nine years. Sometimes it feels like a weird social experiment from where you can't escape. Let me tell you some facts about the place.

First of all , the public transportation system is a joke. You get about three busses going to other places than Sipoo a day there. After six o'clock in the evening , there will be no busses going or coming into Nikkilä at all. So , you can't get away from the village during the night. So , you're stuck there. The village centre is also littered with these small shops that look like they're from the 60's or something. These shops sell - much to our surprise - clothes that look like something out of the 60's. The old grandma's sitting behind the counters also look like people that have time-warped to 2005 from the 60's.

The town also falls dead quiet during the early morning hours. I've seen and experienced it several times in the past. It's actually pretty all-encompassing and peculiar at the same time when the first rays of the rising sun hit the painted metal surface of the nearest traffic sign and you can honestly say to yourself , "I think I'm the only one alive in this place".

You know , everyone in Nikkilä has problems. I'm also quite convinced that everyone in Sipoo has problems. If someone else tells you otherwise , then he is a liar. And therefore has problems. And will go to hell. Soon. Very soon.

My advice to you is this; don't ever come here. This place is the nest of the devil and I'm quite convinced that Nikkilä is the place where they modelled Silent hill after. Since , both of them seem to be places where it's impossible to escape from along with the fact that they're full of fucked up and insane people with a few sane exceptions.