All is well?

I just realized that I haven't written anything down in English for awhile.

The reason why I post this crap both in Finnish and English is that I want to keep my English writing skills honed. I think that it's essentially right what they say about your particular skill getting rusty after awhile if left unused. So, like, that's why I write in English, too.

Anyways, what's going on with my life right now? Nothing too big, that's for sure. Still trying to get a job, mostly. And I'm also moving out of this apartment soon. So in a month's time I'll relocate, yup.

And, umm.. Well.. I've been thinking alot too. I spend alot of my current time thinking about stuff. Mainly my past here, I guess. I hate the past, but what can you do about it? It's as much of a part of your personal history as any other thing, so you've just got to roll with it, as the saying goes.

I mean, you know.. Personally I think that some of the stuff's that happened to me isn't right. I bet that alot of people think that the unfair and shitty stuff that has happened to them isn't right too, but like.. There's so many questions in my mind right now about the past few years here. The main thing that I've asked myself after I broke up with my girlfriend is - Were all these sacrifices necessary? Why did I have to go to such lengths to prove something? In the end all the shit I did was so completely for nothing, you know? You try to do everything right, and then the circumstances aren't right for anything to succeed. But - I was a very dumb and stupid guy to do such things for such a failing relationship. I should've broken up with her a million years earlier. Talk about bad decisions and their consequences on a personal level, man.

So, like, of course I regret it. Of course I regret coming here - why? Because coming here has wasted precious "young years" of my life for absolutely nothing and brought nothing but trouble for most of the time in return . Shit, I'm such a gullible person, you know ? If I could turn back time I would do it. In a heartbeat, too.

I'm sorry for the negative undertone of this posting, but currently I'm feeling a bit down. Infact I think I'll keep on feeling under the weather as long as I'm here. Hopefully visiting Helsinki will help soon, though.